Hi kids! Don’t worry, I’m still alive and well, but incredibly wiped; this September was one tough month for me! I’ll be putting together some fun stories for you really soon, so patience. And thanks for sticking around. 
From the looks of things this weekend, it seems we might have another quirky saga on our hands, although I don’t think there will be covert operations or stings like there were for Captain Porn, sorry.
Nope, this one I’m going to dub the saga of Condiment Revenge Lady. Granted, I don’t know 100% if the lady I have in mind is responsible, but it’s a sure bet.
Here’s the story: we have, in building C, another contender for Mrs. LeCrankyPants, should the current Mrs. LeCrankyPants be unable to fulfill her duties; her name is Mrs. Grahame, and she is easily at least 15 years younger than Mrs. leCrankyPants. The only complaint Mrs. Grahame has is about her upstairs neighbours; we’re not talking about a complaint about a specific neighbour, but rather, EVERY single neighbour who’s ever lived above her.
Someone wrote me a comment on a past post asking about the centipede infestation I mentioned. Yes, these little sweethearts do happen; it’s amazing how many people will smash roaches without batting an eye and yet scream and squirm at the sight of a house centipede.
(And for good reason. Those creatures are not natural.)
When I say house centipede, I mean these fantastic little critters: (be warned, these images are large and alarming for anyone with a phobia of centipedes!)
Oh, what wild fun we had this weekend.
First, the required information: most tenants have air conditioners installed in their apartments (it is summer, after all!) The units are usually placed inside a little window specifically designed for them, and so stick out quite a bit on the outside of the building so the outside air can be sucked in through the vents, cooled, and blasted into the apartment.
… there’s always a worse one.
Luckily, it didn’t belong to me for turnovers this month. I did run myself ragged with all the move-ins (and I’m sorry I haven’t had the energy to update in a while!) but for the most part, it was a good turnover. Those are always so precious to me.
I was helping Serge pull up some carpet in an empty unit (the carpet had a very alarming orange stain on it that we chose not to touch or dwell on too much). We got into a discussion about the worst units we’ve seen left behind; previously-unknown bug infestations are a pretty bad thing to deal with after the tenants have moved out, although my personal worst might be the time a vindictive tenant plugged the toilet and sinks and left them running as he skipped out (the water damage was long and expensive to fix)
(Sorry guys- this one’s from yesterday. I wrote it but forgot to post it– enjoy!)
I’ve had another entertaining visit by Mrs. Lamontagne today, who is commonly known on this blog as Mrs. LeCrankyPants.
Lately, her MO seems to be to burst into the office, and bark a single word representive of her current complaint. I’ve really been feeling like barking a single word back at her to see who wins, but I’m too polite.
I’ve read a few comments from people wondering where some tenants’ common sense was. If you can find it, please let me know, because I could use some right now.
This one is about mold. Not the fuzzy green stuff that grows on your bread, but the annoying black stuff that likes to grow in apartment buildings.
Mold can be a bit of a problem; obviously, it’s gross and nobody wants it growing in their home. It smells funny, and some people are allergic to it. When we get a report of mold growing in someone’s unit, the guys will usually dehydrate it with a blow-dryer, spray some kind of mold killer on it, and thenpaint over the area. This works pretty well on the occasional mold outbreak.
A strange apartment showing this morning.
I’m only down to a few one-bedroom units to rent for August, so I tend to rotate which unit I show during appointements. Earlier today I had someone booked to come in and see a one-bedroom, and so I had picked one on Friday and sent notice. I’d shown that unit a few times already, and the tenant usually wasn’t home, so I wasn’t really expecting anything out of the ordinary.
As happens every so often, the guys and I will sit down for lunch and try to out-gross each other with tales of our past property management jobs. The guys usually come up with the best stories, which is fine because then I get to steal them and put them here!
This one happened to Diego a long time ago when he was super for a low-income building (I think I may have mentioned this building before?) Anyway, a tenant was complaining of a severe roach infestation and a very strong, very bad smell coming from one of the bedrooms which, upon inspection by Diego, didn’t seem to have anything in it to cause the smell.
I wish I knew how to take answering machine messages and record them online, because this one had to be heard to be truly enjoyed.
The office answering machine, when switched on after-hours, has several different lines on it. One is to leave a message with the office, one is to page the supers, and one is to register a vehicle in the visitor’s parking lot. This is done because we have a nighttime security guard who, among other things, checks to make sure that the cars parked in our lot belong there and aren’t squatters from another building.